one of my good friends posted a link to this great article this week titled “The Mom Stays in the Picture“. as usual, my friend’s link was very timely, with my youngest son’s birthday party a week from today. I had told my husband earlier this week that I was planning on just taking pictures at the birthday party and not being very social (I’m not much of a social butterfly, when my depression is acting up). after reading this article, I decided that I need to play with my son at his birthday party and make sure I’m in a picture or two!
so, I’m also going to use this blog as a place to confess my mommy guilt. my youngest, ed, is in karate (this is all new for us) and he is supposed to be doing 3 chores everyday, along with some other things as part of his karate disipline. well, he’s been going to karate for about a month now and we just haven’t gotten around to giving him any chores to do. each time after class some of the kids stay and have to tell the instructors what their chores were and if they did the other things. ed always manages to duck out of this part, but tonight, they asked him to stay. when he said that he did not do his chores, the head instructor came over and talked to him and took 2 stripes off his belt. it physically hurt me when he ripped the stripes off his belt because he had worked so hard to earn them and it was partly my fault for not giving him the chores to begin with (although he never asked about them either). I was also worried that this would make him want to give up on karate, but it took it all in stride and he now has his 3 chores and a sheet to remind him of all the things he needs to do. he really is a good kid!
I looked at my facebook page today and 2 of my friends had posted that they were pregnant with their 3rd child. while I wanted to be really happy for them and share in their joy, part of me just wanted to pout and say “why can’t I be pregnant with my 3rd child? when, if ever, is it going to be my turn to share that news?” so here’s my question to anyone who may be reading this, how do you handle friends/relatives pregnancies when you are trying to get pregnant yourself?
I’m not going to start out this blog by telling you my life story, I am going to simply start with where I am today. I think I started my period again today. it’s been coming like clockwork ever since about 3 months after I stopped taking lupron. the thing is it always feels like such a disappointment, like once again I failed to get pregnant. periods are no fun to begin with, but add in the extra disappointment of not getting pregnant and it can be very hard to take. wonder if any other infertile women feel the same way? I wonder if anyone will even read this blog?